First 12 weeks,
What a write-off.
Bent over bowl 5 times a day
My measly offerings to that porcelain alter
“They call it morning sickness,
But more like any time sickness, amirite?”
A weak nod in response
“More like all the time sickness” I offer.
“You know what helped my mum?”
I can already guess the answer
I mouth along as they triumphantly say
“Plain crackers in bed”
This well-meaning individual may not have known
That boxes of Carrs and Jacobs covered the floor beside my bed, like fallen autumn leaves.
Unable to sit, reaching my arm down the side of the bed, and grabbing the first box I can find.
Chomping on the tasteless, mushy, paste
So dry first thing in the morning.
I turn to my husband and snarl
“I hate plain crackers in bed”
“Would you like some eggs instead?”
Now he’s done it.
I’m up now, sprinting across the landing
Mouth still full of dry cracker paste
Filling up with saliva
Bye bye plain crackers.
They swirl down the bowl.
They make no difference to me at all.